No More Resolutions

It seems as though almost every blog I have read since January 1st, has something about goals/resolutions/commitments for 2013. That's great. But this year I do not have a list, nor will I be making one.

I am an idealistic person. WAY to idealistic. My husband is a very realistic person. A steady, stable, not easily swayed, logical, discerning kind of person. He doesn't go have coffee with some guys and come home beating himself over the head because their kids always empty the dishwasher, set the table, fold the laundry, pick up the toys with out complaining, only watch 1 movie a day, etc. His wife does.

I have decided to ditch the resolutions. I always end up beating myself up anyway, because I fail, every time.

There is so much good and available advice, opinions, and blog posts for mother's. While I definitely think that I can learn from other people and that it is wise to take advice, I tend to see the ideal in all of it and when my life/house/marriage doesn't measure up, I become discouraged. I fail to see what I do have and instead focus on all the things that are wrong with my life.

God used a very painful experience this past fall to show me how much I crave affirmation from people, how performance based I am, and how insecure I am. He showed me how much I need to find my security and affirmation in HIM. I can't be good enough for other people. I will always disappoint some people. I will never measure up to what they expect of me. And that hurts. I have so very much to learn about God's mercy and grace. God isn't who I thought He was. He isn't a huge man who stands off in a distance, watching me, waiting for me to mess up. He wants to be my Daddy.

This is a in a very small nutshell where I am at in my life right now. I'm starting my year out trying to learn some boundaries. I have listened to negative things and lies about myself and God for far to long. I have tried to long to perform in an attempt to keep people happy. I found these verses in Proverbs and they literally jumped out at me.

Proverbs 4:23  Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or to the left.

I must guard my heart from lies and replace the lies with truth. I must keep my eyes on Jesus and take only the paths that He leads me into.

So I have no resolutions. But I do have a desire, more intense then ever, to know Who God is. I want to know what is truth, about myself and God.  I want to experience God's love and grace at a deeper level, so that I am better able to extend that love and grace first to my little family and secondly to others. I want my heart more open to God, so that it can be more open to the people I love the most. (And I hope all the other little things, like losing weight and keeping my house cleaner and being a more 'fun' Mom, will all get figured out and take care of themselves.)

Smoothies taste the best when shared with a fuzzy, pink poodle!  :)

GF Oatmeal Pancakes. Yum. YUM!!

And this Dear, unselfish Husband of mine, took his gift card from his boss, and bought the children a wagon.

And proceeded to put it together with 3 excited, little helpers! I love him!

Miss Mya tries on Daddy's shoes.

Making necklaces and bracelets with the beads Aunt Naomi brought.

Wearing Daddy's bed pants. Funny boy!

 



























































































































I have a chiropractor appointment today. Hopefully she can 'cure me of whiplash'. ouch.
Blessings on your day!!